Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How drunk are you?
Completed.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
