So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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