How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
