I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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