we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
