just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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