What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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