Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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