Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
