you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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