A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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