She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
