i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
