you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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