weddingsv make me drug and hornr
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
babies were throwing up all over the place
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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