i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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