If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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