Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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