i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
