shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
