They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
