Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
