Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
