Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
