is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
