you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
