I need help removing her.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
