I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
