i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
