Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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