i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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