I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Congratulations! We have a period
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
