in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
