You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We talked him into tasing himself.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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