Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Holy shit dude........stairs
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
