You work out of a Hotel?
this beer tastes like vomit already
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
