he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
