oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
