The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
