dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
