I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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