batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
