One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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