So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
