The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
