i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
