Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
