I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
