In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
porn star boner night. come get it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
