WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize