Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize