he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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