Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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