i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
